What if I told you sharing your story could save lives? Would you do it?
How do you share a story when the combination of emotions are so intense that it’s impossible to have one without all the others? When it doesn’t make sense, the feelings of immense gratitude and grief of such a confusing loss. It’s been two years and what a demolition derby life has been these years. My family is beginning to heal and I am trying my best to adjust to all of the changes and find myself as my own human being outside of the roles of daughter, girlfriend, photographer, sister, ex, granddaughter, and friend. I hope that one day Ill make sense of it all, in the mean time, this is what I’ll share today:
There is power in telling your story. There’s power in social media. Power, that can be used for good when you understand it. Powers, that when combined with social media can change lives. We did that. We changed lives.
As a creator my ideas are rooted in the belief that there is beauty in everything and everyone. I believe that (mostly) everyone is doing their best figuring out how to exist in this life. It’s a lot of work to pretend that everything is ok, that we aren’t walking around with a million fears, worries, judgements. We spend our lives adjusting ourselves to the outside world and what it tells us we are supposed to be. I’ve always felt a bit misunderstood because when folks want to talk about sports or food, what I really want to know is how a person is feeling, what they are struggling with and how could life be a little better for them. I’ve made a career out of helping fellow human beings show up as themselves in photos. To pretend “perfection” just a little bit less and see if we can love the parts of us that might not be so “perfect” from the outside.
When I say “there is beauty in everything and everyone’ I’m really saying is that YOU, just the way you are, are perfect: no need to pretend. You are worthy of love and celebration. The chance of you being you is so out of this world that we cannot even comprehend the statistical odds of existing truly is. I want you to see yourself and be proud to leave your mark on humanity.
The people I photograph are part of the story that is my journey through this crazy thing called life and every photo I take are my memories too. In life we never know who our storyline will cross with and what impact a single connection will have. A single email can change your life and you don’t even know it yet.
9.16.2015 The first email. Part of the email, connecting with me for first time said “I want to do this so she can see how beautiful she really is and that all of her hard work does not go unnoticed.” A thoughtful kindness for his wife and a blip on the timeline of our lives.
2015. 2016. 2017 A total of 4 1-hour photo sessions, documenting the life of this family.
and in March of 2018, part of my story needed to be shared. It was life or death. My family was uncertain, terrified and determined to fight, not knowing what would happen next. Not prepared to save a life, change lives and lose a life within the next two years. It’s been brutal at times with unbelievable highs and lows. If we knew how painful it would be the decisions would still be the same. The changes have felt impossible at times but here we are, trying again and again each day to find our way and find the beauty in everything and everyone.
With the gracious help of my dear friend Dane Iwata we used the power of storytelling to share my family’s story with this video and somehow, someway the same person who I’d only spent just a few short hours in person with, decided to give it a shot and see if somehow he could be a match to donate a kidney to my Dad. Two years later the stunning disbelief, the “what are the chances”, the “did all of this really just happen” still are front and center. You NEVER know who will change your life, so you might as well be kind. You NEVER know the impact you will have on others, so be careful what you put on into the world. It wasn’t just my sharing of my life on social media, it wasn’t just an incredible video, it wasn’t just the most generous and brave man donating an ORGAN to save a life. It was also the belief that everything and everyone is beautiful and worthy of all of this love.
Why was it me? Why was it us? How did we get so lucky when there are over 114,000 people currently waiting on the transplant list waiting for a Living Donor to be the hero they need.
I’ve struggled the last years to understand and process all of the emotions and grief that crashes in with this enormous realization. Telling my story, our story SAVED lives, CHANGED lives and impacted so many others. I do not take this responsibility lightly and I will continue to use my story to help others navigate all of life’s changes.
To anyone who needs to be reminded. It’s ok to put down the idea of perfect. It’s ok to be yourself and live whatever life that makes you happiest. It’s ok to take time to figure it out. Sometimes we will never figure out the “why?” but that doesn’t get to stop us from taking the next step of “how do I find gratitude and what good can I put into the world?” Life looks different now, relationships need some mending and that’s going to take a little bit of uncomfortable and that’s ok because when you show up as yourself the beauty shines through. You are worthy of all of the love you have received and so much more.
It’s what you do with each day that matters most. Your life is your story. It’s how you are known and remembered for the impact you make in this lifetime. Even when the heartache seems to be unbearable we keep holding on to hope, we share kindness and love each other as the imperfect humans that we are.
What are the chances?
400 TRILLION to 1
Be grateful for all of it. The unimaginable heartbreak and the breathtaking joy. Be kind to others and more importantly, yourself. Make the most out each day and find the beauty. Tell your story to others, find a way to help those less fortunate.
I am so thankful for each and every human whose storyline crosses with mine while we imagine a world where we all get to be ourselves and feel all the love.
Life would not be possible without the bravery of our hero Ed. His generosity saved my Dad’s life, gave our family a chance at more time and the impact of this kindness has reached thousands of people.
To find out more about being a Living Donor during the Covid-19 Pandemic Kidney.org to see how you can help.